Why You Struggle with Self-Doubt (and How It Quietly Holds You Back)
Why You Struggle with Self-Doubt (and How It Quietly Holds You Back)
Written by: Lauran Hahn, LMHC
You’re tired of second-guessing yourself and the anxiety that comes with it. You have goals and dreams for yourself, but something keeps holding you back, a quiet, nagging voice that says you can’t do it, or that you’ll get it wrong. You want to move forward with confidence, to trust your decisions, and take the kinds of risks at work (and in life) that could actually move you closer to what you want.
Self-doubt can feel paralyzing at its worst, and at best, like your harshest inner critic looming over your creativity, your drive, and your motivation.
As an anxiety therapist in Orlando, I’ve helped many clients work through self-doubt so they can move forward with confidence.
In this article, I’ll unpack the underlying causes of self-doubt and explore the different ways it can show up in your life.
In my next blog, I’ll share tools for overcoming self-doubt when it strikes, along with daily practices to help soothe the inner critic so you can stop feeling stuck.
What is Self-Doubt?
Self-doubt is a normal part of trying something new. Any time you stretch outside your comfort zone, it’s natural to question yourself for a moment. That kind of self-doubt is part of the learning process. It helps you to remain teachable and curious.
Chronic self-doubt, on the other hand, is problematic because it is ongoing and can show up across different parts of life instead of just in moments of growth or learning. Over time, it can start to feel like part of your personality rather than a passing experience. Chronic self-doubt often fuels anxiety and can quietly hold you back from the things you want most.
How Does Self-Doubt Manifest?
Self-doubt can show up in almost every part of life, at work, in relationships, in parenting, or even in everyday choices. No matter where it appears, it tends to look the same: hesitation, overthinking, and second-guessing yourself. Here are some common ways it can show up:
Comparing yourself to others - When people have a lot of self-doubt, they tend to size up others and rank themselves in comparison to other people. That constant comparison leads to more self-doubt and self-alienation.
Struggling to make decisions - Anxiety about making the wrong choice can keep you stuck in overthinking and questioning your own perspective.
Difficulty identifying feelings - If self-doubt is high, it can be a struggle to know what you are feeling internally, and therefore becomes challenging to trust your internal emotional compass.
Having poor boundaries - When you doubt yourself, it’s harder to trust your judgment or stand firm in your limits. Instead of advocating for yourself in relationships, you feel guilty for having needs. Over time, this can lead to toxic guilt.
Overworking or redoing things. You might finish a task, then question whether it’s good enough and start over, chasing a sense of certainty that never comes.
Avoiding risk and trying new things - Self-doubt can make you hold yourself back before you even begin. You might quit on an idea before trying because you assume you can’t do it or won’t do it as well as someone else.
Holding back in collaboration. When you doubt your perspective, it’s easy to stay quiet in group settings. You might have valuable insights to share but worry they aren’t good enough or that you’ll sound off base, so you hold them in.
Avoiding intimacy - When you don’t trust your own feelings or ideas, it becomes hard to ask for what you need. Self-doubt makes vulnerability feel unsafe, and without that, real intimacy can’t grow.
Blocking creativity. Self-doubt tells us our ideas aren’t valuable or good enough, and that belief can shut down the creative process before it even begins.
Is Doubting Yourself Part of Anxiety?
Yes, anxiety and self-doubt are often connected. When we’re anxious, we tend to overthink and replay all the possible scenarios, trying to find the “right” one. That kind of overthinking leads to self-doubt and second-guessing. When rumination takes over, anxiety drowns out your intuition or inner wisdom, making it hard to trust yourself.
This type of anxiety, the kind that creates self-doubt, makes it hard to trust yourself and make decisions, whether they’re small everyday choices or more high-stakes decisions. There are many causes of indecisiveness, and self-doubt is one of them. The good news is that learning to move through self-doubt and make decisions with more ease is possible.
What is the Root Cause of Self-Doubt?
There isn’t just one cause of self-doubt. It often develops in early environments where we learned that our voice, feelings, or ideas couldn’t be trusted. Sometimes that learning is loud, through criticism or judgment. Other times, it’s quiet, when our emotions are ignored or minimized.
Criticism, Shame, and Judgment
Self-doubt can take root in environments where there was a lot of shaming, judgment, or criticism. When mistakes were met with ridicule instead of curiosity, we learned to question ourselves and play it safe. Over time, that inner voice of “don’t get it wrong” turns into a deeper belief that we can’t trust our own instincts.
I recently worked with a client who recognized that her family wasn’t overly critical of her, yet they were overtly judgmental toward others. Bearing witness to that harsh judgment led her to question herself, to make sure she never became the target of it.
Lack of Emotional Support or Validation
Self-doubt can also come from growing up in homes where emotions weren’t met or reflected. Sometimes parents were busy, distracted, or focused on survival. Other times, feelings were dismissed with comments like “you’re overreacting” or “that’s nothing to cry about.” When our inner world is met with indifference or invalidation, we learn to doubt our own perceptions and emotions.
Low Socioeconomic Status or Poverty
Growing up with less than others can also create self-doubt. Constantly comparing what you have to what others have and knowing it’s outside your control can leave you feeling powerless. That powerlessness can easily turn inward as self-doubt and low self-esteem.
Unhealed Trauma
Any form of trauma can lead to self-doubt because trauma leaves us feeling powerless and uncertain about our safety and judgment. When we’ve been through experiences that shake our sense of control, whether that’s relational trauma, abuse, or unexpected loss, it can become difficult to trust ourselves again.
Comparison Culture
Social media has created a kind of fake world where we curate our lives to show only the best, most beautiful, most glamorous moments. Then, when we’re sitting in our pajamas, bloated from the ice cream we just ate, scrolling through our feeds, it’s easy to compare our normal human moments to everyone else’s highlight reel. That constant comparison feeds self-doubt and makes it hard to feel good enough just as we are.
The Rise of Artificial Intelligence
The use of AI has also contributed to growing self-doubt. Overdependence on AI for answers, opinions, or ideas can pull us away from our own intuition and inner wisdom. When we start checking every thought against an external source, we slowly lose confidence in our ability to think, decide, and create for ourselves.
Lack of Growth-Oriented Environments
Self-doubt also develops in environments where mistakes weren’t viewed as part of the learning process. When success was the only acceptable outcome, we learned that being wrong meant being inadequate. Without spaces that support curiosity and growth, confidence doesn’t have much room to develop.
Is Doubting Yourself Part of Anxiety?
Yes, anxiety and self-doubt are often connected. When we’re anxious, we tend to overthink and replay all the possible scenarios, trying to find the “right” one. That kind of overthinking leads to self-doubt and second-guessing. When rumination takes over, anxiety drowns out your intuition or inner wisdom, making it hard to trust yourself.
This type of anxiety, the kind that creates self-doubt, makes it hard to trust yourself and make decisions, whether they’re small everyday choices or more high-stakes decisions. There are many causes of indecisiveness, and self-doubt is one of them. The good news is that learning to move through self-doubt and make decisions with more ease is possible.
What Trauma Causes Self-Doubt?
The most common trauma that causes self-doubt is chronic criticism in early relationships. Growing up in an environment where you were constantly picked apart or made to feel like you couldn’t get it right teaches you to question yourself. That kind of early relationship trauma slowly chips away at your confidence.
However, any trauma can lead to self-doubt. At the heart of trauma is vulnerability, the experience of being powerless or hurt in a way that makes us doubt our own instincts and perceptions. Over time, that loss of trust in yourself becomes a habit of second-guessing everything.
Are you Ready to Heal Self-Doubt?
Self-doubt can take many forms and come from many places, but at its core, it’s about losing connection with your own inner sense of knowing. Healing begins when you start to rebuild that trust in yourself.
Ready to Tackle Self-Doubt Anxiety with Anxiety Therapy Orlando?
At Mindful Living Counseling Orlando, we specialize in helping people who struggle with self-doubt. We don’t just focus on teaching coping skills, although those matter. We also help you heal the anxiety and trauma beneath the self-doubt itself, so you can move forward with real confidence instead of constantly trying to prove it.
1. Fill out our New Client Consultation form here.
2. Once you complete the form, you'll be invited to schedule a 15-minute phone consultation with one of our anxiety therapists.
3. Get ready to start your healing journey!
Additional Anxiety Resources
What Causes Indecisiveness (and How to Overcome it)
How to Become a Better Decision-Maker
Decision-Making Anxiety? Anxiety Therapist Shares 5 Steps to Make Decisions Easier
How to Make Difficult Decisions
How Anxiety Can Affect Your Relationship Decisions
Other Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando
We offer a variety of therapy services, including EMDR therapy, Trauma Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, Teen Therapy, and Toxic Relationship Therapy. Additionally, we provide Guided Meditations for our clients.
A Word From Our Founder, Lauran Hahn, LMHC,
When it comes to healing from trauma, we often struggle with anxiety, self-doubt, and decision-making, all of which are common ways trauma presents itself. Through trauma-informed therapy and EMDR therapy, we help our clients heal from and overcome these symptoms.
I own Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando, where I focus on assisting clients with managing anxiety and trauma. I am a certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist and EMDR Therapist, and I hold the status of an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. I aim to enable individuals to find calmness in their bodies, tranquility in their minds, and stronger connections in their relationships.