Decision-Making Anxiety? Anxiety Therapist Shares 5 Steps to Make Decisions Easier
Decision-Making Anxiety? Anxiety Therapist Shares 5 Steps to Make Decisions Easier
Written by: Lauran Hahn, LMHC
Does making decisions give you anxiety? No matter what you decide to do, you are plagued with internal distress. Do you feel stuck in the mud because none of the choices you make seem to be exactly right? Do you agonize over decisions because you are afraid you’ll make the wrong decision?
Decision-making anxiety causes folks to feel frozen in fear because they can’t seem to land on what is right, or they get downright depressed because the fear of making the wrong decision shuts them down and makes it almost impossible to make a move.
As an Anxiety Counselor in Orlando, I help people who struggle with decision-making anxiety.
This is a common theme for people who struggle with anxiety. This article offers guidance when you get stuck in small day to day decisions. I have also written How to Make Difficult Decisions to offer support on making bigger decisions.
Think about how many decisions you make in a day. People who struggle with decision-making anxiety struggle with internal conflict and angst. According to CNBC, humans make about 35,000 decisions a day. Granted, most of these decisions are minor, like what to eat or wear, which don’t have a significant impact on your life or the lives of others. But, for some of us, making these seemingly small decisions is anxiety-provoking.
Anxiety is a Manifestation of an Internal Conflict
One way I help my clients work with this type of anxiety is to understand that it is a manifestation of an internal conflict within themselves. This awareness is often a key part of effective anxiety treatment, helping clients identify the competing needs or desires that fuel their distress. Let me give you an example.
Last weekend, on Sunday, I needed to get some work stuff done, and I wanted to spend time with my family because I was out of town the previous week. This conflict created a bit of anxiety and a little bit of “mom guilt.” I forged through the discomfort and asked my husband if he would take our child for a few hours on Sunday so I could get my stuff done. He agreed.
When we talked about his plans, he mentioned taking our little one to see family and spending the day at the pool. While I was happy he was willing to take our kiddo for a few hours, I was conflicted, yet again, because his plans sounded fun. There I was, again, plagued with a bit of anxiousness because now I wanted to spend time with the family AND get work stuff done. I kept thinking, “Seriously, I am damned if I do and I am damned if I don’t.”
If this scenario sounds familiar, and you, too, tend to do the Cha Cha Cha with guilt and anxiety, follow the steps below to uncover and untangle what is happening on the inside. Following these 5 steps below will lead you on a pathway out of the internal distress.
1. Breathe and Ground Yourself
First, take a deep breath and feel your feet on the ground. When you have an internal conflict, it creates drama, much like what happens in an argument between two people. But this type of conflict is occurring internally and feels a lot like anxiety, guilt, indecision, or feeling stuck in the mud. Taking a deep breath helps take the edge off and is often the first step in effective anxiety treatment.
As an anxiety counselor, I often guide clients to begin here using grounding techniques to calm their nervous system so they can approach their inner conflict with more clarity and compassion.
2. Be Curious
First, it’s important to understand that we all have parts of our personality that have conflicting goals, drives, desires, impulses, needs, and wants. When you feel conflicted, be curious about the different parts of yourself that want or need something. And by curiosity, I don’t mean judgment. Part of the guilt and anxiety we experience comes from internally judging some part of ourselves as bad or wrong. Exploring with curiosity, rather than judgment, is a foundational step in effective anxiety treatment.
As an anxiety counselor, I guide clients to explore the intentions of each part of themselves that has a stance in the internal conflict. Understanding that we have different parts of our personality with conflicting goals, drives, and desires helps the guilt and anxiety begin to melt away. In my case, I had a part that wanted to spend time with my family and a part that wanted to get work done.
3. Validate the Parts
After you’ve taken the time to understand the perspective of each part that is showing up in the internal conflict, take a moment to validate the need of each part. In my case, the desire to be with family is valid and makes sense. Equally, the need to take care of business stuff is valid and important. One is not more valid than the other, both are important to me and my family.
4. Make a Choice
The goal here is to make a choice, out of what is in your best interest, rather than to acquiesce to internal fear, guilt, anxiety, or judgment. Making a choice from this place offers empowerment rather than being a slave to guilt and anxiety.
If I hadn’t taken the time to explore my inner world and parts, I would have acted out of guilt and spent time with the family out of obligation. Instead, after going inside and validating the parts of me that wanted to do different things, I made a decision from an empowered place. I did, in fact, choose to spend time with my family, but the choice was because I decided that was more important at the time.
5. Be Kind to Yourself
After you take time to explore your inner world and validate your differing internal perspectives, take a moment to be kind to yourself. Since you won’t be able to be two places at one time, take a moment to be kind to the part of yourself that has to wait to get their needs met.
I knew I wasn’t going to be able to meet the needs of my “family driven part” and my “work driven part” at the same time and I was aware that the part of me that wanted to get some work done was going to feel uneasy not attending to work stuff, so I kindly let that internal part know that I would make time during the week to get the tasks done. Breaking down your next decision into these five steps can help alleviate decision-making anxiety.
Why do I Get Anxiety About Making Decisions?
At its core, decision-making anxiety is a manifestation of internal conflict. Your mind is trying to protect you from regret, disappointment, or judgment, so it keeps spinning, evaluating every possible outcome. The more important the decision feels, the louder the internal voices become.
Here are some common reasons this anxiety can take hold:
Perfectionism: A part of you believes there’s a single “best” decision and fears the cost of getting it wrong.
Fear of loss or regret: Choosing one option means closing the door on another, which can stir up grief or “what ifs.”
Past experiences: If you grew up in a critical or unpredictable environment, another part of you may equate mistakes with rejection or failure.
Rumination: When the nervous system stays activated, thoughts loop endlessly, keeping you stuck.
High-stakes choices: The more meaning or identity attached to the decision, the more internal parts fight for control.
Understanding this push-and-pull helps you see your anxiety as information, not a flaw. Once you can recognize that different parts of you are trying to protect your needs, you can begin to slow down, listen, and find balance between them.
Support for Decision-Making Anxiety
We’ve written several articles to support folks struggling with decision anxiety. Take a moment to check out these that resonate with you.
Anxiety Therapist Shares How to Become a Better Decision-Maker
How to Make Difficult Decisions
What Causes Indecisiveness (and How to Overcome it)
Ready to Tackle Decision-Making Anxiety Therapy?
As an Anxiety counselor, I understand how difficult decision-making can be. We are here to support you on your journey.
Fill out our New Client Consultation form here.
Once you complete the form, you’ll be invited to schedule a 15-minute phone consultation with one of our therapists specializing in anxiety.
Get ready to start your healing journey!
Additional Anxiety Resources
Anxiety Therapy Explains High-Functioning Anxiety
An Anxiety Therapist Shares Everything You Need to Know about Anxiety
Guided Meditation for Anxiety: Five-Sense Grounding
Ready to Begin Anxiety Therapy in Orlando, FL?
Do you need more guidance on making difficult decisions? If you’re ready to ditch the anxiety around your decisions, schedule a free 15-minute call, so we can get you started with the best anxiety therapist right away.
Other Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando
We offer a variety of therapy services, including EMDR therapy, Trauma Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, Teen Therapy, and Toxic Relationship Therapy. Additionally, we provide Guided Meditations for our clients.
A Word From Our Founder, Lauran Hahn, LMHC, on Decision-Making Anxiety
Over the years, I’ve faced my own struggles with decision-making anxiety. Through EMDR Therapy and many of the tools I outline in this blog, I’ve learned to navigate choices with much more ease, and I no longer agonize over decisions the way I once did.
I am the owner of Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando, where I specialize in helping clients manage anxiety and trauma. I am a certified Sensorimotor Psychotherapist and EMDR Therapist, and I am also recognized as an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. My goal is to help individuals experience calm in their bodies, peace in their minds, and deeper connection in their relationships.