Anxiety Therapy Orlando: How to Be Kind, Direct, and Assertive Without Guilt
Anxiety Therapy Orlando: How to Be Kind, Direct, and Assertive Without Guilt
Written by: Lauran Hahn, LMHC
How often do you say yes when you want to say no? How often do you simply go along to keep the peace? You stay silent when a team leader dismisses the idea you’ve spent hours working on. You agree to intimacy when you're not in the mood for it. Maybe you just want to please. Perhaps you've been raised to be "nice" and avoid conflict. You're used to putting others' needs ahead of your own. Or you don't want to upset or disappoint others. Too often, you don’t ask for what you need or share your opinion because you don’t want to rock the boat, but it leaves you feeling drained, resentful, and frustrated.
Sound familiar? As an anxiety therapist in Orlando, I often work with people who find it difficult to speak up for themselves or set boundaries without guilt. But self-advocacy isn't rude or selfish. It's about being honest with yourself and others. And yes, you can be both kind and assertive.
How do you advocate for yourself in a way that's respectful, direct, and empowering? Keep reading.
What Is Self-Advocacy? Insights from an Anxiety Therapist
Self-advocacy means standing your ground and asking for what you need. It helps you stay grounded in who you are and what matters to you. It's about identifying your needs in the first place and then communicating them to others. Doing so assertively means expressing your needs, opinions, and feelings with confidence and respect for the other side without being passive or aggressive.
The Foundations of Assertive Communication
Assertiveness is the healthy middle ground between being passive (staying quiet or unsure how to say 'no') and being aggressive (coming off as demanding or pushy). When we communicate assertively, we express our needs, feelings, and boundaries in a clear and respectful manner. Assertiveness is about being both direct and kind. It's about treating "no" as a whole sentence without the need to apologize, sugarcoat, or explain yourself. However, when doing so, use a respectful tone and acknowledge the other person's perspective. And it's something everyone can learn and practice.
For example, if a friend asks you to pick them up at the airport after a busy workday, assertive self-advocacy might sound like,
"I'd love to help, but I have a packed schedule today so I won’t be able to. I'd really love to catch up soon, though. Hope you understand."
Or your manager asks you to take on a task that would require working late, even though it's outside your usual hours and you're already at capacity. Instead of agreeing out of pressure or fear of disappointing them, self-advocacy might sound like,
"I'm not able to work late. Can we talk about alternatives?"
It's not about letting people down. It's about being honest about your needs and limits.
Anxiety Therapist Orlando Explains Why Self-Advocacy Matters
Most of us have been in a situation where we didn't express our needs or communicate our boundaries, only to regret it later and rehearse what we should have said. However, contemplating this long after the moment passed only makes you feel frustrated and resentful.
When you're used to saying "yes" when you don't really mean it or putting others' needs first, speaking up for yourself may feel uncomfortable.
What if they get mad at me? What if I lose them? What if they no longer think of me as a team player? What if I let them down?
But staying silent means letting you down. When your needs get buried under everyone else's, over time, you start to feel invisible. Burnout takes its toll. Resentment builds. And you might start feeling disconnected, not just from others, but from yourself.
This is why making your voice heard matters. It's not about having things go your way or being pushy. It matters for your self-respect and confidence because it helps you honor your boundaries and values. For keeping your relationships healthy and meaningful by creating clarity and preventing unspoken frustration. And for protecting your mental health and well-being.
No one can meet your needs if they don't know what they are. When you communicate your needs, boundaries, and feelings confidently yet respectfully, you actually make it easier for others to understand, support, and connect with you more authentically.
An Anxiety Therapist Shares Four Tips for Practicing Self-Advocacy with Confidence
1. Start Small
Building any new skill or habit takes time and effort. When you repeat an activity, your brain adapts and rewires itself, activating different areas to prepare for new behaviors and information. Through consistent practice and repetition, a new behavior becomes automatic and eventually transforms into a habit. Building self-advocacy skills is no different. So, start small, one change at a time, allowing your nervous system to adjust and solidify these new behaviors into lasting habits.
2. Let Your "No" Be Enough
Practice repeating a simple "no" calmly but firmly. This helps others understand that your "no" doesn't have to be justified or apologized for. Be clear and confident, and keep it concise. You can use phrases such as "I can't take that on right now." "That doesn't work for me." "I'd prefer to..." "I need some time to think about it." "I have another commitment."
3. Use "I" Statements
Use "I" statements to focus on how you feel and take ownership of your experience. For example, you can say, "I feel overwhelmed when deadlines pile up." "I'm not comfortable with that." "I feel frustrated when you're late." That way, you're expressing how you feel without making it sound like you're blaming someone.
4. Be Respectful
Instead of giving many reasons for your "no," suggest other ways to solve the problem. Provide a timeframe for when you might be able to accept the request or discuss alternative options you could offer to assist the person, such as "That's something I can't commit to right now, but I'll be happy to do it tomorrow. I know someone who might be able to help you. I'm currently focused on other priorities, but here's what we could do."
Why Self-Advocacy is Self-Care
You may feel uncomfortable at first. Setting boundaries often causes us to feel guilty or anxious. Growth can feel uncomfortable at first, but that discomfort is a sign you're changing. That's completely normal.
Ready to Start Anxiety Therapy?
If you need support in building confidence in your voice and setting healthy boundaries, our therapists at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando are here to help you. Reach out today to learn how we can support you.
Not Quite Ready for Anxiety Therapy?
At Mindful Living Counseling, we understand how difficult burnout can be—and how overwhelming it feels to take the next step toward support. You're not alone. While you're navigating this journey, we invite you to explore the blogs below!
Anxiety Therapy Orlando Resources
Stress & Anxiety Therapy Orlando: Burnout Is Preventable
Stress and Anxiety Therapist: Burnout and the Nervous System
An Anxiety Therapist Shares Everything You Need to Know About Anxiety
Orlando Anxiety Therapist Shares: How to Handle Life's Curveballs
Anxiety Therapy Orlando Shares A Guided Meditation: Presence & Intention
Orlando Therapist Shares Box Breathing Technique: A Tool for Anxiety
Other Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando
Did you know we offer a variety of therapy services to address diverse needs? Our therapeutic options include EMDR Therapy, Trauma Therapy, Eating Disorder, Teen Therapy, and toxic relationship therapy. Additionally, we provide guided meditations for our clients.
Anxiety Therapist Lauran Hahn
Lauran Hahn is a therapist located in Orlando, focusing on assisting clients in managing anxiety and trauma. She holds certifications as a Sensorimotor Psychotherapist, as well as an EMDR therapist, and is recognized as an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. Lauran aims to support individuals in achieving a sense of calm within their bodies, tranquility in their minds, and connection in their relationships through EMDR Intensives.