In attachment therapy, we begin by exploring your attachment style, which helps you better understand what is happening in your relationships today. We then explore your history, including your relationships with early attachment figures, to bring clarity to how these patterns developed and why they continue to show up.

From there, we use deeper healing modalities to work with early attachment wounds and relational trauma. This may include therapies such as EMDR, Internal Family Systems, Sensorimotor Psychotherapy, and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).

Yes, absolutely. Guilt, self-doubt, and people-pleasing are all ways people can lose themselves in relationships. Attachment therapy helps you better understand and honor who you are, so you can bring your authentic self more fully into your relationships.

The four attachment styles are secure attachment, anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, and disorganized attachment.

Secure Attachment - You trust yourself as well as the other person in your relationship. This leads to a greater ability to be your authentic self, set boundaries, and express needs and desires, while also being able to consider and understand others’ views and experiences. In this internal working model, the core beliefs are: I can trust myself. I can trust others. The world is generally safe.

Anxious Attachment - You tend to be preoccupied with the other person and wonder whether they are still attached and interested. This can lead to anxiety and a constant focus on reading the cues and emotions of the other person, often driven by a fear of disconnection. In this attachment style, the core beliefs are: I can’t trust myself. I can trust the other.

Avoidant Attachment - You tend to need more space and autonomy. Relationships can feel intense or suffocating, and the higher the demands of a partner, the more you may want to pull away. In this attachment style, the core beliefs are: I can trust myself. I can’t trust others.

Disorganized Attachment - You will have aspects of both anxious and avoidant attachment. There is a longing and preoccupation with closeness and connection, yet when that connection is met, it can feel overwhelming. This can lead to pulling back and withdrawing. In this attachment style, internal worldviews tend to oscillate between distrusting yourself and distrusting others.

Someone with attachment trauma may experience low self-worth and have a fragile sense of self. They may have difficulty regulating their emotions and can become upset easily. Attachment trauma often shows up in relationships, including intimate relationships, friendships, and family relationships.

There may also be strong nervous system responses, such as feeling very anxious and on edge, followed by periods of shutdown or emotional numbness. In cases of more severe attachment trauma, some individuals may experience dissociation

Breaking attachment trauma is very possible. Through attachment therapy with a trained and experienced attachment therapist, you can begin to understand your attachment trauma and work to heal the parts of yourself that were wounded in early attachment relationships.

This work often involves deeper healing modalities that allow those early wounds to be processed and repaired, not just understood. A skilled attachment therapist can attune to you and guide the therapy at a pace that feels both challenging and safe. Over time, therapy also supports learning to recognize your attachment patterns and to begin creating a safer inner circle of relationships, including friends and support people who feel more secure and supportive.

The length of attachment therapy depends on several factors, such as the extent of the earlier attachment wounding. Healing complex attachment trauma can take time. Your attachment system developed over years, often throughout childhood, and it takes time for your system to learn to trust yourself and choose safer relationships. In therapy, your nervous system also needs time to feel safe within the therapeutic relationship, especially if you were wounded in earlier relationships.

As that sense of safety develops, you can begin doing the deeper work needed to heal the parts of you that were hurt earlier on. Attachment trauma healing requires patience and tenderness toward yourself as your system gradually learns that connection can be safe again.