Orlando Trauma Therapist Shares: What's Behind "Daddy Issues"
Updated February 2026
Written by: Lauran Daugherty Hahn, LMHC
As a trauma and attachment therapist and owner of Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando, I specialize in helping people heal insecure attachment patterns so that they can feel safe and confident in relationships. Through attachment therapy in Orlando, I work with clients to understand how early relational wounds continue to shape their adult relationships and sense of security.
Recently, I was asked to share my thoughts on the root cause of “daddy issues.” The question made me reflect on how the term carries a negative connotation and often oversimplifies the deeper relational wounds underneath it.
If you’ve ever been told you have “daddy issues,” it likely didn’t feel helpful. It may have felt shaming, confusing, or overly simplistic. Yet underneath that label are very real relationship struggles that deserve to be understood.
What Are “Daddy Issues”?
“Daddy issues” is a term that has become popular in modern culture. It has been used to describe women who have unresolved emotional issues stemming from their relationship with their dads. The phrase is steeped in negative stereotypes and can be used to undermine women or suggest they are unstable or damaged.
But beyond the stereotype, what are people actually describing when they use this phrase?
What do People Mean by Daddy Issues?
When people use the term “daddy issues,” they are usually referring to someone who struggles with abandonment fears and trust issues in romantic relationships. These early wounds can show up as clinginess, frequent reassurance-seeking, difficulty trusting a partner, or feeling anxious about being left.
What Does a Girl With Daddy Issues Want?
Someone described as having “daddy issues” typically wants to feel safe, seen, and emotionally secure in a relationship. At the core, they want consistency. They want to trust that their partner will be available when needed and that the relationship will not disappear without warning.
What Are The Common Traits of Women With Daddy Issues?
People often use this phrase to describe patterns such as:
Feeling anxious when a partner doesn’t text or call back right away
Assuming distance or disconnection when there is uncertainty
Seeking frequent reassurance about the relationship
Wanting repeated conversations to confirm the partner is still invested
Struggling to trust that the relationship is secure, even when it is
Feeling jealous or threatened by a partner’s close relationships with others
Being highly sensitive to shifts in tone, communication, or routine
These behaviors are usually rooted in fear of abandonment rather than manipulation or drama.
Is “Daddy Issues” Just Anxious Attachment?
Many of the behaviors people label as “daddy issues” are more accurately understood as anxious attachment. Anxious attachment develops when early caregivers were inconsistent, emotionally unavailable, or unpredictable. In other words, they were emotionally neglectful. As adults, this can show up as fear of abandonment, hypervigilance in relationships, and a strong need for reassurance.
To understand this more fully, it helps to understand attachment styles as a whole.
The truth is, we all carry into adulthood a relationship template based on how we interacted with our early caregivers. This is called our attachment style. If you were lucky enough to have caregivers who were dependable and not overbearing, then you likely emerged from childhood with what is called “secure attachment.” With secure attachment, you are more likely to have confidence in yourself and trust your partner. These traits typically lead to healthy relationships in adulthood.
People who had difficult relationships with their caregivers will often develop an insecure attachment style as adults. This can create challenges in the romance department as an adult. There are three types of insecure attachment styles: Anxious, Avoidant, and Dismissive. In this post, I'll be discussing anxious attachment, one of the three types of insecure attachment styles. This attachment style is often associated with the phrase I mentioned earlier, "daddy issues".
Anxious Attachment
Anxious attachment is characterized by a fear of abandonment and a strong need for reassurance and validation. This can come across as clinginess or emotional intensity in relationships. People with this attachment style often struggle with self-doubt and may feel insecure about their partner’s feelings, even in otherwise stable relationships. As a result, they may seek frequent reassurance to feel safe and connected.
Let’s zoom out a bit and explore what early life looked like for someone with anxious attachment.
With this attachment style, parents were not consistently available physically or emotionally. As children, they were concerned about whether or not their parents would be there for them or be able to provide for them. These folks experienced abandonment or rejection by one or both parents, so they became preoccupied with whether or not they would get their needs met in childhood. In some cases, they may have learned to take care of their caregivers so their caregivers could take care of them.
As an adult, this translates into being preoccupied with their partners and seeking reassurance. Anxious attachment impacts all genders and sexual preferences because it is based on early relationship dynamics with caregivers. As an attachment therapist, I have worked with gay and straight males and females struggling with the anxious attachment style.
Why Anxious Attachment Often Attracts Emotionally Unavailable Partners
Anxious attachment often develops in families where a caregiver was emotionally unavailable, inconsistent, or unpredictable. As children, we adapt to that environment. Our nervous system learns that the connection feels uncertain, and we become highly attuned to signs of withdrawal or distance.
As adults, when we encounter someone who is emotionally unavailable, that dynamic can feel strangely familiar. Emotional unavailability can show up in subtle ways, including patterns often seen in emotionally immature partners.
When that partner begins to pull away, it activates the attachment system - one of the strongest drives we have. The urgency, preoccupation, and intensity that follow can feel like attraction. But often, what feels like chemistry is actually attachment activation.
Tips for Healing Anxious Attachment
First, I want to acknowledge that having anxious attachment is hard. It can feel like your emotions get hijacked and sent on a rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows. Staying grounded can feel nearly impossible when so much is happening internally. If this is your experience, please know you are not alone. Many people struggle in this area.
Here are a few ways you can begin to calm your nervous system and start healing.
Start by offering yourself compassion, just as you would a friend going through a difficult time. A self-compassion practice might look like placing a hand on your chest and saying, “This is really hard. I’m not alone in this struggle. Many people experience this.”
Practice grounding techniques that help you move out of fear and back into your body and the present moment. We offer a guided 5-sense grounding meditation, if you’d prefer to be lead through the practice.
Remember that the intensity you feel is often rooted in early unmet needs. If it feels supportive, try working with your internal parts. Imagine the younger version of yourself and offer reassuring words such as, “You are safe. I am here for you.”
Surround yourself with emotionally safe people, so when attachment anxiety is activated, you don’t have to manage it alone.
If self-soothing feels difficult or the patterns continue to repeat, working with an attachment therapist can help you heal your attachment system and move toward earned secure attachment.
Earned Secure Attachment
The good news is that insecure attachment styles can change over time. It is absolutely possible to heal the wounds that shaped an anxious attachment style. This process is known as earned secure attachment and can happen organically through consistent, healthy relationships or intentionally in therapy.
With sustained positive experiences in safe relationships, people with anxious attachment can begin to trust consistency rather than fear abandonment. Over time, the nervous system learns that connection does not have to feel chaotic to be real.
If you would like to work on your attachment style before entering a committed relationship, counseling with a therapist who specializes in healing early attachment trauma can help. Therapy focuses on repairing the relational wounds that created anxiety and lack of trust. I’ve also written a blog post about attachment styles if you’d like to explore how different attachment patterns impact romantic relationships.
Interested in Attachment Therapy in Orlando?
If this article resonates with you, you don’t have to navigate these patterns alone. At Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando, we specialize in attachment-focused trauma therapy to help clients move toward earned secure attachment and healthier relationships.
If you’re ready to begin that process, we’d love to support you.
Fill out our New Client Consultation Form
Schedule a consultation call with our Client Care Coordinator
Begin your healing journey!
Additional Attachment Therapy Orlando Resources
Orlando Attachment Therapist Explains Anxious Attachment
Baffled by Your Relationship Patterns? Allow Me to Shed Some Light
4 Qualities of a Healthy Relationship
Is Arguing Healthy in a Relationship? Insights from an Orlando Therapist
5 Signs You’re Healing from Trauma
Other Trauma Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando
At Mindful Living Counseling, we recognize that can be a difficult obstacle to overcome trauma, but we understand that there may be other challenges as well. That's why we provide a range of therapy services, such as Anxiety therapy, EMDR therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, and Teen Therapy, as well as Guided Meditations. If you have any inquiries, don't hesitate to contact us.
About Orlando Therapist Lauran Daugherty Hahn
Meet Lauran Hahn, LMHC! She's a licensed therapist in Orlando who specializes in helping people deal with anxiety and recover from toxic relationships. She's also a Certified EMDR therapist and an EMDRIA Approved EMDR Consultant. When she's not busy with clients, Lauran loves spending time with her loved ones (both human and furry!) at the beach.