Trauma Therapy Orlando: What is Trauma Bonding?
Trauma Therapy Orlando: What is Trauma Bonding?
Written by: Lauran Hahn, LMHC
You are in a relationship that feels like an emotional rollercoaster. You no longer feel safe. What you do feel is a mix of shame, confusion, self-doubt, and grief. Maybe your partner is too controlling. Perhaps you feel pressured to do things you're not comfortable with. You constantly question your worth and second-guess your thoughts and feelings. And yet, you still feel deeply connected to this person.
Perhaps your childhood experiences make it harder to feel safe in adult relationships. Past wounds can leave deep imprints, shaping how we see ourselves and connect with others.
If this sounds familiar, know that you are not weak, broken, or alone.
As an Orlando Therapist, I’ve seen how deeply trauma bonds can affect people and how hard they can be to break.
But healing is possible, and support is available to help you break free and rebuild.
What is Trauma Bonding?
Many people assume "trauma bonding" means forming a connection through shared pain. Yes, we can feel deeply connected with someone we’ve gone through hardship with, like a sibling or fellow soldier. Going through something difficult with another person can foster deep empathy, trust, and emotional resilience.
However, trauma bonding usually refers to a strong emotional connection that forms between a person who has been abused and their abuser. It’s a connection that keeps you stuck rather than helping you grow.
The Imbalance of Power
Trauma bonds often form in relationships where there’s a significant imbalance of power. It may be your partner controlling what you wear, who you spend time with, or how much money you’re allowed to use. They may check your phone, monitor your social media, or make you feel guilty for setting boundaries. Over time, you begin to doubt your own judgment and feel like you’re walking on eggshells just to keep the peace. When family and friends express concern, you might find yourself making excuses for your partner’s behavior, even when they've hurt you. You may feel ashamed or afraid to tell your loved ones what you’re going through. And no matter how much you’re suffering, leaving feels impossible.
How are Trauma Bonds Formed?
Maybe it's not just a relationship with a partner who is mistreating you or causing you emotional pain. It could also be a childhood bond with a parent or caregiver who was supposed to protect you, but instead was negligent or abusive. Still, the pattern is the same.
Affection is a basic human need, especially for children who depend on their caregivers. Even if caregivers are abusive, children crave connection. But if this relationship is traumatic or abusive, a child may confuse abuse with love and stay loyal to an adult who is doing harm. If you experienced trauma with your caregiver as a child and became insecurely attached, it can impact your relationships as an adult. And when it’s hard to separate a trauma bond from love, it can become difficult to leave an unhealthy relationship.
Is It Love or a Trauma Bond?
Relationships grounded in trauma bonding aren’t abusive all the time. In fact, they often swing between moments of warmth and harm. There’s usually a cycle of reward and punishment, where the person who hurt you also becomes the one who comforts you. One day, you feel cherished and safe; the next, you’re walking on eggshells. This unpredictable mix of love and fear creates a powerful emotional hook. And this is exactly what keeps trauma bonds strong.
“They’re not a bad person.”
“She didn’t mean to hurt me.”
“It’s my fault.”
“He loves me in his own way.”
“He was so caring afterward.”
Sound familiar? Those caring moments give you hope that things will get better. That your partner might change. Then you start clinging to the good times, and it becomes easy to confuse control or cruelty with love. Many trauma bonds form this way: starting with love-bombing and intense affection, only to slowly shift into a cycle of emotional abuse, isolation, and dependence. And before you realize it, you’re no longer just in a relationship—you’re in a loop that’s hard to break.
When Trauma Bonding Becomes a Problem
Trauma-bonding relationships harm our well-being. They feel unsafe. They don’t encourage you to grow, but erode your self-esteem. If you’re unsure whether it’s trauma bonding, ask yourself the following questions:
Am I blaming myself for what’s happening?
Am I minimizing the harm?
Do I feel guilty for wanting to leave?
Am I pressured to do things I don’t want to do?
Do I constantly hope they will change?
Does my relationship go through extreme highs and lows?
Do I cling to the good moments?
Do I second-guess my own feelings, memories, or decisions?
Do I feel confused, overwhelmed, or stuck?
Do I struggle to imagine life without them?
As time goes on, your self-esteem can weaken, and your boundaries may also become less clear. You might lack personal space or time to yourself. You may struggle to say “no” to your partner because you don't want to disappoint them or fear their revenge. You may feel even more isolated by cutting off ties with loved ones. Guilt and shame often cloud the ability to see things clearly, making it harder to break free.
How Trauma Therapy Orlando Can Help
Trauma bonding is more common than you might think. You’re not broken. Recovering from trauma bond relationships takes time, because it means breaking harmful patterns, learning to love yourself again, and learning to trust others. It means learning to have your emotional needs met in a way that truly supports your well-being.
But healing is possible. Trauma therapy provides a safe space to recognize trauma bonding patterns. Working with our therapists at Mindful Living Counseling Orlando can help you explore what’s keeping you stuck and take the first step toward healing.
Ready to Start With an Orlando Trauma Therapist?
Reach out to us to today to connect with a therapist who can help you feel more grounded, supported, and in control of your life.
Fill out our New Client Consultation form here.
Once you complete the form, you’ll be invited to schedule a 15-minute phone consultation with one of our Orlando therapists.
Get ready to start healing!
Additional Trauma Therapist Resources
Orlando Therapist: Understanding Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)
Orlando Therapist: Understanding Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Anxiety Therapist: Understanding Stress And How to Cope
Orlando Anxiety Therapist Shares: How to Handle Life's Curveballs
Orlando Therapist: Everything You Need to Know About Self-Care
Orlando Therapist: 5 Things Your Therapist Wants You to Know
Other Therapy Services Offered at Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando
We provide a range of therapeutic services to meet various needs! Our offerings consist of EMDR therapy, Trauma Therapy, Therapy for Teens, Couples Therapy, Eating Disorder Therapy, and Therapy for toxic relationships. We also offer guided meditations.
Orlando Therapist Lauran Hahn
Lauran Hahn, LMHC, runs Mindful Living Counseling in Orlando. She primarily focuses on helping clients manage anxiety and trauma through her EMDR Intensives. Lauran is certified as a Sensorimotor Psychotherapist and an EMDR Therapist, and she is recognized as an EMDRIA Approved Consultant. Her aim is to assist individuals in finding peace and enhancing their relationships. In her leisure time, she enjoys running, practicing yoga, and spending time with her family.