Gratitude with Some Attitude: Going Beyond the Boring Ole Gratitude List - Part 3
Orlando Therapist Providing insight on Gratitude by Going Beyond the Boring Ole Gratitude List
My point is, it is easy to be grateful for the positive things in life. This year, this November, I am asking you to dig a little deeper into your well of gratitude and go beyond the obvious. Search the times in your life that felt like hell. Where you felt doomed and stuck there until the bitter end. Times in your life that sucked with a capital S. And now ask yourself, “Am I still there?” “Did I make it out alive?” “What did I do to survive?”
Search the times in your life that were a struggle. Where you felt deflated or devastated, the gut-wrenching, time-stopping, painful times where you wondered if you would ever make it through. You know your moments. As humans, we all have them.
Can you find anything, at all, in these events that made you into a better or stronger person? Look for ways that your difficult history changed the trajectory of your life and somehow, even as painful as it was, look for ways these times put you on a better or more conscientious path.
Attitude of Fortitude
Now, this is no easy task. And for some people, now may not be the time (more on that below). But if you have some distance from the event and you’re ready to move on from it, you must cultivate an attitude of fortitude and find the ever so faint silver lining in your misfortune.
Part of healing from the past includes finding the one little teeny tiny itty bitty nugget of positivity. From this mustard seed, healing is born. From this place, you can change your perspective ever so slightly from Victim to Hero. You start to tell a new story, one of hope, healing, and inspiration. You capture a time in your life that changed you forever. It made you stronger, hopeful, humble, helpful, accepting, compassionate, or passionate. Somehow, the light of your Spirit shines through you in some new and profound way.
Cresting the Mountain
I get to experience this with my clients as they work through their checkered past, the parents that left them, the abuse they endured, the breakups, the heartbreaks, the deaths, the losses, the illnesses. When we stumble upon an inkling of a new perspective, we have crested the mountain and the remainder of their journey is (mostly) downhill.
I wouldn’t be able to spot it so easily if I hadn’t transformed my own personal tragedy from “poor me” to “empowered me.”
For many of us, finding that nugget of positivity happens organically, in time. And for us others, we must excavate for it - dig, work, put in the effort. It doesn’t matter how you get there, as long as you get there. In my life, I’ve experienced both, the spontaneous healing perspective shift, where I wake up and feel like a better person for having gone through it. And I’ve also experienced the arduous, labor-intense, leave it all on the field, type. One of my big ones took thirty-five years, y’all. Yes, you heard me, 35 long years. But I’m telling you when I got there, I knew it. It was like a 5000-pound weight was lifted off my shoulders. I was lighter and my story shed new light, one of triumph rather than of being trampled. It’s like a breath of fresh air was breathed into a time in my life that was dark and dreadful.
Is Now the Time?
If you are still experiencing “those moments” this practice is not for you (yet). You need to be able to see this time of your life in your rearview mirror. Just like a cut needs air to heal, adversity needs time. This practice isn’t going to work for you if you are still knee-deep in the experience. Digging in too soon can be confusing and overwhelming. Time creates a healthy distance from hardship. Some people need more time, and that is perfectly normal and fine. Make sure you honor what is right for you.
Gratitude Challenge
This week’s gratitude challenge is to dig deep and find those iconic moments that made you, the best version of yourself. Go deep into your soul, deep into your story, and find those groundbreaking moments that painstakingly shaped you.
Being open to how your tragedies have shaped you not only relieves you of the burden you’ve been carrying around for all these years (not some small feat), but also prepares you to handle challenges, today and in the future.
If you’re struggling with this challenge, ask yourself the following questions:
How has my struggle made me more conscientious?
How am I more understanding and accepting because of having gone through it?
What internal strength did I rely on to get through it?
How can I use my struggle to help others?
The truth is y’all, bad things happen to good people. I know. It sucks. Handling these unfortunate events from a place of empowerment, a perspective that is created from doing the work above, is way better than feeling helpless.
Before beginning your challenge, remember that we are digging deep this November which means that we are letting go of the “woe is me” mentality and are finding our true gratefulness for what our life has brought us. However, this takes some time away from the hard times in our life. If you are not ready yet, then focus on the concrete things in your life you can be grateful for right now. Like, a warm home, a cuddle with your child, or a long conversation with an old friend.
Good luck!
More Gratitude with Some Attitude?
Check out Part 1 and Part 2 of my Gratitude with Some Attitude Series.
Follow along on my journey of Gratitude with Some Attitude on my Instagram Page or my Facebook Page and make sure to leave a comment to share with me how your challenge is going.
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When you’re ready schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation here.
Mindful Living Counseling Orlando is a trauma healing center. Our Orlando Therapy Services include anxiety therapy, trauma counseling, eating disorder recovery, teen counseling, and healing from toxic relationships. At Mindful Living Counseling Orlando, we use a down-to-earth approach infused with cutting-edge therapies that go beyond traditional talk therapy so clients can heal at the root level and experience lasting change. Feel free to access one of our Guided Meditations to help you feel settled and calm now.
