Boundaries Deconstructed

Boundaries deconstructed

Orlando Counseling Providing Relationship Therapy

Relationships have you confused and exhausted? Do you frequently ask yourself, "Is it me?" "Is it my partner?" "What is happening in my relationship?" If this sounds like your inner dialogue, this series on relationship boundaries will help sort out some confusion and offer you insight into the hazy relationship dynamics that have you scratching your head.

As an anxiety and trauma therapist providing counseling in Orlando, it often see clients struggling with relationship boundaries. It is so common, in fact, that I decided to write the blog series to on boundaries.

Whether you're currently in a relationship, reflecting on a recent breakup or divorce, or struggling with a toxic relationship, this series will bring to light some of the dynamics that are happening in your relationship. 

It’s important to understand the difference between boundary awareness and boundary setting. Boundary awareness is first identifying what is happening within in YOU and what you need to feel both safe and connected in the relationship. The majority of this series is on understanding boundary awareness. Setting a boundary on the other hand, is what you need to do if your partner is not willing to honor what you need or want in the relationship.

This blog series on boundaries include the following articles:

3 Fundamentals to Boundaries [+ 20 Q Self-assessment to Boot]

4 Boundaries for a Healthy Relationship and 14 Questions to See How You’re Doing

Boundaries: 21 Questions to Uncover Your Style

5 Simple Steps to Setting a Boundary

In my therapy practice, I spend a great deal of time doing activities that bring to life what is happening in the inner world of my clients. This is especially useful when working with relationships. It is a normal day in my office for a client to use string or scarfs to create an emotional boundary they want to investigate. By "physicalizing" the emotional boundary, we can literally "see" what is happening in their relationship. This allows my clients to choose mindfully in their relationship where they have been on autopilot in the past.  

Even the word “boundary” can be perplexing. In this blog series, I go into great detail to cover all aspects of boundaries to help clear any confusion. When it comes to boundaries, it is important to first start with YOU. In 3 Fundamentals to Boundaries [+ 20 Q Self-assessment to Boot], I focus on your general sense of feeling contained, protected, and nourished as you move through life.

In 4 Boundaries for a Healthy Relationship and 14 Questions to See How You’re Doing, I discuss healthy relationship dynamics in sharing the following: your physical space, your things, your time, and your thoughts and emotions.

I discuss healthy versus limited boundary styles in Boundaries: 21 Questions to Uncover Your Style. In this blog post you will look at relational patterns that are holding you back from experiencing the relationship you’ve been desiring.

In 5 Simple Steps to Set a Boundary, I walk you through a step by step guide to help you in identifying a boundary, communicating it, and following it up with action (if needed).

A healthy boundary is the invisible place where "you" meet "other." From this place, each person's "otherness" is respected and valued. Safety and security, vital aspects of of a healthy relationship, are born from this place. Boundaries allow "you to be you." This goes for you and the other person.  It is a mutual respect. Boundaries offer a safe place to make connection and a safe place to honor differences.

Because boundaries are learned implicitly through experiences with people, it is helpful to understand the automatic give-and-take that is happening in your relationship. Every person on this earth has a different automatic way of being in a relationship. Understanding your own boundary dynamics provides you insight into why you do what you do in relationships.

Want more on boundaries? Check out these posts:

3 Fundamentals to Boundaries [+ 20 Q Self-assessment to Boot]

4 Boundaries for a Healthy Relationship and 14 Questions to See How You're Doing

Boundaries: 21 to Questions Uncover Your Style

5 Simple Steps to Setting a Boundary

Boundaries: 3 Reasons You Move the Line


Lauran is an anxiety and trauma therapist providing counseling in Orlando, FL. She also specializes in helping people heal old broken relationship patterns that keep them from finding, creating, and keeping healthy relationships with partners, friends, and family. Lauran uses a down to earth approach infused with cutting-edge therapies that go beyond traditional talking to help clients feel calm in their body and mind and find peace within themselves.