Boundaries: 3 Reasons You Move the Line

Boundaries: 3 Reasons You Move the Line

You’ve tried to set boundaries in the past, but end up feeling puzzled and perplexed by your own lack of follow through. What was once a strong determination to honor yourself has vanished into thin air. It tends to go a little something like this….

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5 Simple Steps to Setting a Boundary

5 Simple Steps to Setting a Boundary

Do you feel insignificant in your relationship? Does it feel like your partner mows over you and your wishes? After an argument, do you wonder, “What the heck just happened?” If this sounds like you, then this series on boundaries will help clarify what’s happening and help you get your feet back on the ground.

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Boundaries: 21 Questions to Uncover Your Style

Boundaries: 21 Questions to Uncover Your Style

Do your relationship patterns have you feeling puzzled? This series on relationship boundaries will reveal some of the dynamics that have you feeling stuck. In my last blog post, we talked about four boundaries for a healthy relationship. In this article, I discuss limiting boundary styles that hold you back from having a healthy relationship.

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3 Fundamentals to Boundaries [+ 20 Q Self-assessment to Boot]

3 Fundamentals to Boundaries [+ 20 Q Self-assessment to Boot]

Feeling baffled by your relationship patterns? This blog series on boundaries will shed some light on what has been happening automatically within you. Ready for some clarity? In my last post, Boundaries: Where to Draw the Line, I introduced the topic and provide the basic two step process for setting a boundary.  In this post, I share the three primary purposes of boundaries.

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Boundaries Deconstructed

Boundaries Deconstructed

Relationships have you confused and exhausted? Do you frequently ask yourself, "Is it me?" "Is it my partner?" "What is happening in my relationship?" If this sounds like your inner dialogue, this series on relationship boundaries will help sort out some confusion and offer you insight into the hazy relationship dynamics that have you scratching your head.

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Baffled by Your Relationship Patterns? Allow Me to Shed Some Light

Baffled by Your Relationship Patterns? Allow Me to Shed Some Light

"Why, oh why, do I keep going back? I know this relationship is toxic and I keep going back!” These words or some other closely related sentiment bounce off the walls during relationship counseling at least once a month.

Or when a relationship ends, “My ex is a total jerk! Why do I keep picking jerks?”

In couples counseling, I hear, “It always ends up this way! She walls off and stops talking and I end up exploding and nothing gets resolved. It’s like we can’t even communicate.”

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How your Beliefs are Sabotaging your Picker

How your Beliefs are Sabotaging your Picker

Many many years ago, in fact, it feels like another lifetime ago, my “partner picker” was programmed to Narcissist. It seemed like the only men I was attracted to were self-absorbed, self-interested, and self-serving. I continued to find myself in relationships where my role was to, in some way, serve someone else’s selfish interests. I would find myself scratching my head saying, “How the hell did this happen again?”  It wasn’t until years later, I realized my beliefs were sabotaging my picker.

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